The Mind Reading Markup Language (MRML /mur'mul/) is a proprietary extension of the HyperText Markup Language. This document, all MRML tags, and any ideas you come up with while reading this information are the exclusive property of the authors. This is an open specification that will be expanded as mind control technology is refined.
MRML tags can be embedded into any regular HTML document. They are completely invisible to all browsers. No one will ever know you are using them.
NOTE: MRML is not case sensitive. <freud> is equivalent to <FREUD> or <frEUd>.
Basic Markup Tags
The following MRML tags are used to read the client's mind for certain kinds of thoughts and emotions about the contained text.
- Brainscan performs a light scan of the client's thoughts which may include perceptions of their current environment. The Brainscan tag is an invaluable tool for establishing a user's identity as it is much more reliable than checking REMOTE_HOST or USER_ID variables.
- Thoughtsuck performs of deeper scan of the client's thoughts which may included details of significant events within the past 24 hours.
- Probes the client's mind for their fears about the contained subject.
- Probes the client's mind for their deeper, more repressed fears about the contained subject.
- Probes the client's mind for their deepest, most repressed fears about the contained subject. WARNING: This tag cannot be exported outside the US borders.
- Probes the client's mind for sexual thoughts about the contained subject. Use of the Sexthoughts tag will likely be depreciated with the release of the Freud and Jung specifications.
Freud and Jung Tags
Specifications for Freudian id, ego, and superego tags and Jungian symbolic tags are not currently available.
The HYPNOTIZE Tag
Current technology enables very primitive mind control using MRML tags. The so-called Brainwashing tags are delimited by the the special <!--HYPNOTIZE><HYPNOTIZE--> pair. Suggestions within the Hypnotize area are completely invisible to all clients, but it is extremely important that the tags are placed correctly. You are liable for any mental damages inflicted by improperly placed tags.
HYPNOTIZE Area Tags
Within the <!--HYPNOTIZE></HYPNOTIZE--> area the following tags may be used:
Within the <PROGRAM></PROGRAM> area the following tags may be used:
- Used for mild, easily acceptable suggestions. For stronger suggestions use PROGRAM and BELIEVE.
- It is warm for this time of year.
- You need to upgrade your computer.
- Republican policies aren't all that bad.
- Information that you want the client to pass on to friends and correspondents.
Some popular memes:
- Chain letters
- Urban legends
- Cool ascii graphics
- Things you want the client to forget. It may be desirable to have the client forget the URL of your MRML documents.
- Programs the client with a strong post-hypnotic suggestion. There are a few optional arguments.
- <PROGRAM TIMES=3 INTERVAL="1 hour" DELAY="2 days"> will trigger the suggestions three times at a one hour interval two days hence.
- <PROGRAM INTERVAL="after every meal" FOREVER> could trigger the suggestion brush your teeth for an indefinite time.
- Explicit thoughts to be planted in the client's mind. Beware of contradictory programming! Try to remove previous conceptions before reprogramming.
To reprogram someone that thinks that Pepsi is better than Coke:
- <BELIEVE>You have no opinions about the relationship between Coke and Pepsi.</BELIEVE>
- <BELIEVE>Coke is better than Pepsi.</BELIEVE>
- <BELIEVE>You are thirsty.</BELIEVE>
- <BUY HREF=url>
- Encourages the client to buy products on the World Wide Web. The optional ITEM=item argument may be used.
- <PASSWORD=keyword or phrase>
- A convenient way to access the client's mind for future programming sessions. Should only be used with a secure client-server connection.
Clarification: The BLINK Tag
The <BLINK> tag used in many popular browsers is not a MRML specified tag.
Running Your Own MRML Server
The software needed to run a MRML-oriented server is freely available to all persons and institutions. To obtain a copy of the server software a representative for you or your company must attend a special 3-day training session where they will be given the MRML software package. These training sessions are currently being held twice a month at an undisclosed location; requests for private training sessions will be considered.
<HYPNOTIZE><MEMO>Remember to add feature so they forget ever visiting this page.</MEMO>
<SUGGEST>Check out the site of our MRML editor and Buy Buy Buy!</SUGGEST>
<PROGRAM FOREVER><BELIEVE>Netscape sucks.</BELIEVE></PROGRAM>